I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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