I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
