nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Randomize
