she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
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