watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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