In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
You made out with two different species that night
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
