Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
my phone needs a breathalizer
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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