Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
