Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
3pm strippers are depressing
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
