He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I wish life had little blips of pornography
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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