God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Randomize
