im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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