he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I've blown a few things in my day
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
