He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Randomize