I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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