She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
