haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Randomize
