i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
She bit a glass in half.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
