i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
