Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
