East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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