You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
