she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Randomize
