Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
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