Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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