Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
