Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Randomize
