he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
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