it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize