checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
