Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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