somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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