Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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