2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
