Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?

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(512): View more from Texas

My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle

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(314): View more from Missouri

Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.

(1-314): View more from Missouri

Man I wish I had been there

(314): View more from Missouri

Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.

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(413): View more from Massachusetts

I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on

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(518): View more from New York

I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.

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(864): View more from South Carolina

I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.

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(316): View more from Kansas

There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.

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(407): View more from Florida

I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours

(646): View more from New York

This text was so worth waking up to

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere

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