I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Randomize
