none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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