i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I am full of burrito and curiosity
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
