I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
