Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
