Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I'm bleeding and have questions
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
