I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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