The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Randomize
