dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
