if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
