do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
