I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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