My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
