I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
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