the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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