I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
