note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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