The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
