Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
