Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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