Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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