look no pants
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
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