Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
from now on my penis is your penis
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
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