Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Girls should come with a carfax report
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
We had to coat check the pizza.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Randomize
