you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
