he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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