I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
