Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
