Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
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